A Tale of Two Shorts

Wow, admitting defeat is hard.  Admitting it with unflattering shorts is even harder.

This is a story of 24 hours, two shorts patterns, and lots of aqua twill.

I bought the Iris shorts recently and was looking forward to making them, especially because there have been lots of cute versions on Flickr and, well, I give in to peer pressure easily (see the Wiksten patterns for reference).  I had a gift card and decided to just go for it!  I've had some Lisette twill sitting around since March 2011 that would make a perfect wearable muslin, and in the meantime, I'd order the last two yards of Melody Miller Viewmasters anywhere and mint green twill to make for two versions.  I'd be adorable and I'd wear them to Savannah in August.  What would I wear with them?  That was seriously my biggest concern.  I hadn't even attempted the pattern yet and I was worried about coordination.  (Don't tell me you don't do that.)

How the mighty have fallen.

These shorts were a mess.  A mess!

So major props to my phone for producing such crappy pictures, but I wanted to send these to my mom before I made a final decision.  These were left unhemmed, because, by the time the yoke facing was in, I knew I was in trouble.  The instructions were easy, but something was wrong.  Things weren't looking great.  I have wrinkles everywhere and my butt is even wider and flatter than usual.  

I would also like to note that these are supposed to be worn about an inch below your natural waist.  These came exactly to my waist.  I have a very short torso, so high waists aren't my friend at all.  The cute vintage look isn't for me.  When I buy shorts retail (I prefer Old Navy, just btw) I buy a size larger to wear them even lower just so I look a little more like a normal person than I am.

Okay, so I chalked this up to a learning experience and decided to salvage the zipper and move on with my life.  I still have two (very expensive) yards of Viewmasters and the mint green twill, which I bought exactly enough of for the Iris shorts.  What to do?  I knew Simplicity patterns were on sale at JoAnn this weekend, and chose the Lisette Souvenir shorts (S1879) because they also have a pretty big Flickr presence.  They were a quick cut-out and this time I decided to go true muslin and baste the whole thing together, not interfacing or even cutting facings until I knew what I was in for.

Well.  These weren't good either.  I'd even say they are worse.

I basted the side seam together where the zipper would go in case I needed to adjust when I was putting them on.  I didn't even bother with a zipper in the muslin.

What the hell is going on with these shorts?  They also sit too high on my waist and there's about a yard of extra fabric in the crotch but not enough in the waist?  Also, if it was possible to make my wide butt look about three feet longer, well, these accomplished it.  God, that's just bad.

The fun thing about basting is that you can be the Incredible Hulk and rip your clothes off:

And then your cat wonders if that's a new pile she can sleep on.

So what should I do, everyone?  Stick to retail?  That's where I'm leaning right now.  I do need some ideas for 1 1/8 yards of mint green twill and 1 yard of polka dot lining that would have looked so cute with it--any good skirts that will work with that?  I wish there was enough for a Beignet...

Also, I would like to note that I don't wear all aqua outfits everyday.  I just happened to be a crayon yesterday and today.  The two days I take pictures of myself, of course.