I posted this picture on Twitter last night, partly hoping someone would give me encouragement (nope!) and partly because I wanted to show myself just how bad things are:
That's my sewing table, which takes up about 1/4 of the dining room. Maybe half. I'm not good with math. That's my old machine; to the left, four unfinished skirts, two baby blankets--to be fair, no one has given birth yet and I'm waiting on names, a baby dress and some wallets; to the back, a bag of wooden picture frames (I don't know), Washi fabric scraps waiting for another turn in the sun and the trash; in front, about, oh, fifty-to-sixty projects just hanging out. On the floor is my purse. This is what I see every single day.
I feel like that picture really sums things up right now. There's so much promise in it! There are clothes and products. There's my life, my love, my sewing machine! I mean, even the pin cushion is just hanging out, waiting for me. But I haven't touched it since Sunday afternoon. I can't. Every time I look at it, I just get way too exhausted.
We're in the middle of a lot right now. We don't feel at home in our apartment (and the recent ant invasion is really making us feel, well, itchy) but we can't go anywhere. We dislike (okay, hate) living in DC more and more with each new day, but until we hear back from some HR people, we can't leave. We aren't married, but we aren't dating--we're not engaged either. Even Eleanor is just like, whatever, wake me when something exciting happens. She's been sleeping on the DVD player in between bouts of cross-country track running through the apartment.
I'm not religious, but I'd like to think that someone is listening to me and my thoughts, and I'm hoping, wishing, praying that someone has been listening lately, because I've been thinking hard. I'd really like some help--just someone make something happen soon--but until then, I'll just keep stacking up everything, promising to no one in particular that I'll make time for them soon.