Some thoughts from this week (I know, I'm doing an awful job at posting regularly, but give me a break, summer is boring):
- For a girl who is pretty sure she'd be a terrible mother, it's all I can think about lately. We aren't sure if we want kids, but we have some ground rules if we do have them: no daycare (I'll stay home--not a huge sacrifice, honestly), no technology (books!), super healthy eating (no childhood obesity--we also don't really eat fast food besides the occasional trip to Chick-Fil-A so this isn't a big deal or change). But I'm so on the fence about it because, while I know I'm young, I also know I'd want to have them in the next five years, and I also know that I will probably be the least compassionate or sympathetic person ever. I just...I'm not a kid person. When I was a kid, I hated kids, and wanted to be around the adults. They're not all beautiful--there are some babies out there who look like an extra from Saw. And they're on Flickr. So help us God.
- I felt like I needed a new bullet here. Anyway. I'm reading Naomi Wolf's Misconceptions, about becoming a mother in America. Holy shit. I knew things were bad, but I didn't know they were this bad. It has swayed me to seeing a midwife and having a homebirth without drugs, if I ever do get pregnant. I absolutely hate going to the doctor and even seeing a needle makes me pass out (not an exaggeration), and this is completely my own opinion, but yeah. No hospitals for this girl.
- I have had no patience for sewing lately. I've cut out three different projects and they're just hanging around in plastic bags because Eleanor gets to them before I do. I think I'm just tired, but if I don't get a move on, summer will be over and I'll have to wait another year to wear this stuff.
- Holy crap, guys. It's August. Doesn't that blow everyone's mind? Okay, maybe not, but it does mine.
- Tomatoes are a perfect after-work snack.
- Why do some people feel the need to talk so loudly? You're down the hall in an office--I shouldn't be able to hear your conversation.
- How does one become a doula? Not kidding, this could be a career-change. If I even have a career. A career-start? I'll get back to that.
- I'm tired of reading about weddings. I wasn't invited. I don't care. Please stop it.
- I feel like, because I'm not religious, I really got gipped on the "friends" aspect of church. I'm not going to compromise our beliefs by dragging Nick to some temple every Sunday, but I know that church is a huge place to meet people. And I think it's a shame that we've lived in DC for over seven months and we don't have friends besides people we talk to at work. That's sad.
- I miss friends.
- I am so tired.
So there you have it, I'm quite obviously a mess and everyone knows it. I'm going to see myself as charming, though, and because I'm wearing a totally cute shirt (and jeans--which I haven't worn since May because it's been too damn hot/summer), I'm going to believe it.
Have a great weekend, everyone. Go have fun for me!