Bossypants

I finished Bossypants last night, after floating through it all weekend.

I will say that I am in no way a book critic.  I studied English in college and am a lifelong reader, but honestly, I'm the only person who considers my opinions important.  Even Nick zones them out.

I have two beefs with this book, and I'm probably the only one with them: one, there's no real plot, it's just like having thirty conversations with Tina Fey (which is great, don't get me wrong, but sometimes books need a plot); and two, there are a few recycled jokes from 30 Rock.  As I told Nick last night, I'm probably the only one who noticed, and there are like 2 million jokes in the book so that's a pretty good ratio of recycled to new, but I still noticed.

Besides that, I felt like I could've been this girl growing up.  Well, I sort of was.  Overachiever, awkward, not liked by boys, and though I wasn't a virgin until my mid-twenties, I have certainly gone through periods where men barely spoke to me.  Also, I love gay men.  I know what you're thinking.  "Everyone thinks they can be friends with Tina Fey!"  And you're right.  Unless you're Elle Woods (that's the second time today I've referenced Legally Blonde) (or Legally Yellow, if you've read Bossypants), I kinda feel like you could sit and talk to her about your headgear and the time you threw up on the bus in high school (check and check).  But isn't that what's so great about Tina Fey?  She has created a likeable, relateable character in Liz Lemon, and has made women everywhere feel as if they no longer need to be Jennifer Aniston or Megan Fox in order to get through life.  Thank god, because I mostly find those two women annoying and degrading.  (Degrading in that we're all supposed to feel bad for Jennifer Aniston because she's single, and we're supposed to look like Megan Fox regardless of ethnicity, heritage, or taste.)

I laughed a lot in this book.  A lot.  It was hard not reading it out loud every time I read something hilarious, because Nick is reading it too and I didn't want to spoil it for him.  But seriously, don't read this in public unless you're already talking to yourself.  Then you may proceed.  I could see a lot of inspiration from her background leaking into the things she's done, except for her father-figure, Don Fey (as she calls him throughout the book).  Her dad on 30 Rock is lovable and kind of "oh-gee-whiz-gosh-darn" if that's a thing.  It is.  But Don Fey is suave and intimidating and impressive.  Maybe that would be too unbelievable for Liz Lemon's dad, and also, it would be too similar to Jack Donaghey.  I get it. 

I'm going to wrap this up because there's nothing I hate more than dissecting something that is just there to exist.  While I feel like this book was written at the right time and it's making people laugh--what could be better?--it isn't exactly As I Lay Dying.  Nor should it be!  I never read Faulkner because he bores me.  I've watched the first season of 30 Rock on the treadmill because it's the only thing that distracts me enough to keep going.  Back in my exercise days, anyway.  So I say, if you enjoy a good laugh, and don't mind a little bit of post-modern feminism thrown into the mix (in the form of worrying about having another child, which is moot at this point), as well as some scary looking haircuts, read Bossypants.  And then let your friends borrow it.  And then watch 30 Rock.  We need to keep this woman in business, people.


My English professors would be so ashamed of what I just wrote.  Oh well.  Maybe they shouldn't have picked such lame books in the first place.  Seriously, who puts his own book in the syllabus for American Masters II?  Yes, I had a professor who did that, and no, I did not buy his book.  I didn't have money to waste on yet another book I wouldn't have time to read, and because his class didn't have tests, I didn't actually buy any of the books required.  Take that!  When you go to school fulltime and work fulltime, you learn the meaning of priorities.  They include: food, money, required books, papers, tests, sleep.  In that order.

Go enjoy Monday!

A Shutdown

I have a rare free moment so I'm just going to voice a few opinions real quick.  First, some background: I live in Silver Spring and commute to Rosslyn, so I'm in and out of DC at least twice a day.  I have family and friends working for the government, and my company is a consulting firm that helps the government.  I will be affected by this possible shutdown in some way.

I'm not going to pick sides because, the fact is, every single member of Congress is to blame.  Tea Party, Green Party, bipartisan, I don't care.  You've all failed us.  I wish I could change it.  But it's April 2011, we haven't had a budget since September 30 of last year, and no one is allowed to get away with this outside the government.  Businesses and corporations have to have a budget in order to pay their workers.  You all just keep on going, fighting and bickering like children, and no one gets anywhere.  Stop being stubborn.  Stop naming names and making excuses.  You're not 6 anymore.  Let's get this done with the least amount of damage possible.  Some people have rent to pay and can't afford for you to keep pointing fingers.  Just get. it. done.

Okay, now that that's out of my system, I will say that I received Bossypants yesterday and read the prologue and the first chapter last night.  While I wouldn't call this "literature" (Tina, I love you, but it isn't), it's certainly hilarious.  So hilarious, in fact, that I wouldn't dare read it on the Metro because I would sound like a crazy person laughing to myself.  If you love funny women--and who doesn't?--do yourself a favor and pick this up.  Tina Fey is my role model, and Liz Lemon makes me believe that there are more people out there like me than I think.  One of my biggest pet peeves is when magazines and TV shows try to get you to relate to celebrities by saying, "Oh, they have their fat days too!  Look!  She ate an entire hot dog!"  Wow, I feel instantly closer, soul sister.  But when Liz Lemon makes her mistakes every week, I realize I've made those mistakes too.  Who hasn't told some guy he was wrong instead of flirting with him?  Good lord, I still do that.  So if you can relate, read it, it's excellent.

Also, a final note.  Nick got a job!  Yay!  We're both really happy and excited and I'm so relieved.  Oh thank god.

I sing that song when I'm feeling great.  Perhaps I should've sang it yesterday.

The Socialite Dress

I can't believe I forgot to tell everyone I finished the Anna Maria Horner Socialite dress!  Remember when I said I wouldn't be sewing until Jake and Kali were gone?  Well...I lied.  They were gone for hours Saturday and Sunday nights, which gave us plenty of time to watch movies, fart around on the internet and sew.  Well mostly I sewed and he listened to the machine.

I apologize for the crap picture.  There are few places in our apartment to hang something, so I keep resorting to the bifold doors near the bathroom.  I should just buy some of those 3M sticky hooks and keep one on the wall at all times.

I made it with Joel Dewberry Nature Valley fabric that I picked up at StitchDC in February.  To be completely honest with you, I wasn't very excited about sewing this.  I bought the pattern when I first decided to start sewing and picked up the fabric on a whim.  I put it off and put it off (and read the review at Sew, Mama, Sew millions of times) and finally said, "No more!"  And I went for it.

I'm...content with the results.  I like the look of the dress.  It'll work well into fall, if it ever decides to warm up here.  I don't like how I had to hand sew the facing.  That was awful because I'm a terrible hand-sewer.  I also don't like that the medium, though it said it would fit, is very, very tight across the chest.  I'm guessing the gathering has something to do with it, but it's also the saving grace: while it feels tight, so tight that Nicholas had to help me get it on and off, it doesn't look like it.  These boobs aren't going anywhere, so I'll just have to handle it.

In short, I'm not making another.  I'm sending my cousin Jesse the pattern and, if the facing didn't look so godawful, I'd send her the dress as well.  Oh well.  I'll get some use out of it, I'm sure.

So now I'm not sure what to do next.  I think I'm abandoning the baby clothes for my former co-worker because, well, I just don't care about it anymore.  I only cut out one fabric instead of all three, and if anyone I know is having a boy, I'll just finish them up pretty quickly for them.  I do have a charm pack waiting on me, so maybe I'll start that.  And I have my Betz White sewing class coming in just over a week, which I'm really looking forward to.  Vintage pillowcases becoming baby clothes and lady skirts?  Count me in.

(One final note: if anyone loves Tina Fey as much as I do, check out the review of her new book, Bossypants, over at Slate.  You don't need to agree with the message as long as you find the excerpts pretty effing funny.)