Why I no longer trust my body

Since my last post, a few things have happened.  I had a great weekend, bought a pair of madras shorts, and Nick tried the lobster roll at Panera.  (I know, it sounds weird, and it kinda was.  Instead of a butter sauce there was remoulade.  Ew.)  But I also got a bad kidney infection.  I've never had one before, so this is new, very scary territory for me.  Sunday afternoon I was nauseous and just thought maybe my Kashi Heart to Heart breakfast was bad?  It was a stretch, but I didn't have another explanation.

Sunday night I went to bed early, after suffering on the couch.  I had a fever, chills, extreme nausea and couldn't explain any of it.  I was freaked out and scared.  Yesterday morning, at 4 AM, I woke up and felt like I was dying.  Everything hurt.  I looked up the symptoms, and all signs pointed to a kidney infection.  It also said I needed immediate medical assistance, so of course I worried that waiting the 12 hours or so since the first sign of symptoms would surely lead me to the grave.

I lied awake until 6, when I woke Nick up.  He was tired and also didn't feel good, so he was less than sympathetic, though at 6 AM, it's hard to be anything but pissy.  I talked to my mom, drove Nick to work, and after finding out my usual doctor didn't treat them, got an appointment with another doctor, who confirmed my suspiscions: it was a kidney infection, and it was bad.

So I'm still suffering.  I'm taking antibiotics but they haven't kicked in yet (or they haven't kicked in enough).  I worked from home yesterday and left early today because I had felt like I was going to keel over since about mid-morning.  I barely have an appetite thanks to this, so I can count on one hand what I've eaten in 48 hours.  I'm hot and cold, nauseous and fine, and today, I was pretty sure my right kidney was heading for the hills, because something in there was kicking its way out.

I heard that kidney infection pain is on par with early labor pain, and honestly, that scares the crap out of me.  I just laid there and cried for hours yesterday, it was so painful.  Maybe this is the final adoption straw?

Here are some pictures from the weekend.  I'm sorry there are no kidney pictures--believe me, if there had been a sonogram, the pictures would be here.

The Nationals vs. Orioles game.  Nats won!

Dippin' Dots!  I don't even know the last time I had these.

Nationals Park

Nate, Nick and me.  Nate came up from base in Virginia Beach to join us at the game.

Giant-headed Abe Lincoln

Ben's Chili Bowl at Nationals Park (Nick's second lunch in 1 hour)

Abe and George, together at last.

The Geico Gecko, my personal hero.

District Taco in Arlington, VA.  I love this place!

Montgomery Ave., Rockville, MD

Montgomery Ave., Rockville, MD

Montgomery Ave., Rockville, MD.  This is an old church that has been converted to law offices.  Irony.

Montgomery Ave., Rockville, MD, and my ghost purse

Time to go rest.  Eleanor's a pretty crappy nurse, but she'll have to do until Nick gets home.

Why Oliver + S patterns are so darn great

I'm not what you would call "kid-friendly."  In fact, most children are scared of me.  I verbally whip them into shape and transform little mongrels into angels for an evening.  Ask my aunt--her three grandsons stopped crying and whining and fighting long enough to decorate cupcakes one evening.  And it never happened again.

Anyway, I never wanted kids of my own because they tend to cramp my style.  I don't deal with dirty well and I really dislike make-believe.  I can handle glitter and Legos but that's about it.  Past that, you're on your own kid.

I always thought that...until I discovered Liesl Gibson's blog disdressed (also to your left) and decided she was the most modern, amazing mom ever.  She lives in New York City, her daughter has better outfits than me, and she can pretty much do anything--run a successful company (Oliver + S and now Lisette), entertain her daughter S, sew/craft/paint/draw/knit just about anything, and still find the time to recycle.  I don't have that energy now and all I'm responsible for is my cat Eleanor.

So I gave in.  I bought some Oliver + S patterns and her book, Little Things to Sew.  Once again, I don't have children.  Maybe someday, when I'm not afraid of having to sell them to pay my rent,  but not right now.  What in the world am I ever going to do with these?  Will they be out of style by the time I'm a mom?  Is Nick going to find them and think I'm insane?  (Probably.)

And then I look at them...and all is right in the world.

(from top to bottom: the School Photo dress, the Bubble dress, the Birthday Party dress.  All were taken from oliverands.com)


Aren't they beautiful?  If Oliver + S had been around when I was a baby, I would've had these dresses.  They're classic and vintage without feeling dated or prudish.  They're how you want little girls (and boys, if you're shopping in the boys' section) to look: cute, innocent, not whorish or sexy too early.

So now I have these weighing upon me.  I honestly am looking forward to the day when I find out I'm having a girl so I can get started on them.  We probably won't be nearly as cool as Liesl and Tsia, but I'm going to try regardless.


Also: Nick shaved his beard tonight and I keep telling him I don't love him anymore because of it.  I have a feeling that will backfire soon but I'm going to keep it going for a while.